she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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