yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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