would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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