She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
