I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
