if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
