Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
