im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
