don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
