It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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