you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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