sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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