Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
