That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
You pole danced in your parka.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
