Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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