i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
My ass is underappreciated
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
