No awkward lesbian experiences without me
This girl is more easily done than said...
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
