a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
