they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Randomize
