ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
