there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
