Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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