Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
