I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
