i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
