lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
