I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
