So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
