i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
