I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
