Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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