ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
