Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Bang-toberfest begins!!
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
