Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
ok first of all what the fuck
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
