We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Randomize
