Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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