he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
