I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
