he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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