Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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