2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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