5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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