I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
