And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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