Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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