..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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