when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
