So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
