Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
