So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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