In the future we'll all be gay
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
