i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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