i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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