I'm laying in your front yard are you home
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
