Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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